How to Communicate with Respect and Authority as a New Leader
Congratulations! You have just been appointed to a management role. Your good work as an employee or supervisor has been seen and acknowledged—something we all long to experience.
But being a good manager is not the same as being a good employee. A good manager understands that success is no longer just about doing their own job well; it’s about resourcing and supporting the team so they can do their jobs effectively. A successful transition into leadership requires focused attention to the behaviours that communicate with respect and authority, while also building the capacity, confidence, and capability of the team.
This article is the first of a series covering four managerial skill sets to master for competent management.
The four managerial skill sets are:
a) Communicate with respect and authority
b) Motive towards unity of thought
c) Inspire a culture of emotional safety
d) Coach to build team capacity
This article focuses on the first area:
A. Communicate with respect and authority:
When you first move up into a managerial role, you know you need to win the team’s trust and ensure they resect your authority. This requires making a good impression, giving clear direction and winning their affection – sometimes called the “know/like/trust” factor. But there is a trap: lack of confidence can lead to being overly directive and harsh, or at the opposite end of the spectrum, give the impression you are weak and easily influenced.
To overcome this challenge, remember that a previous manager existed before you and your team has a previous experience with that person. Your team members won’t automatically switch their allegiance to you because you have the new title. Rather, they are more likely to test your boundaries to see how you will react. To communicate effectively and win their trust, it is critical to gather information from your team about what they liked or didn’t like from the previous managerial actions and what challenges they now face now in trying to do their jobs.
This requires a humble attitude of learning; one that recognizes the knowledge and experience of your team, helping them to feel validated and listened to. At the same time, asking them individually about their experience with the previous manager will reveal strengths you can build upon, and identify past managerial gaps you can close to leverage your credibility as the new manager.
Once you have some specifics from these one-to-one conversations, you can move to confident action, since confidence is a must-have for competent management. Ben Brearly explains this dynamic in his article “How a lack of confidence shows in your Leadership”. According to Ben Brearly, slight changes to how you speak can make a big difference in how your confidence is perceived. He suggests taking out “downplay” words that cause others to doubt your leadership. Instead, practice using clear, and respectful phrases and directives that communicate strength and confidence.
Here are some examples:
| Weak | Strong |
| “It’s only a project” | “It’s our project, let’s do it right” |
| “I’m just following up” | “I’m following up.” |
| “If you have time, please give me an update on your progress.” | “I would like a progress update on Wednesday at 9 during our meeting. Is that possible?” |
In the above table, the strong responses demonstrate authority and communicate a clear direction while identifying a desired outcome. Using this type of confidence speech will certainly show you as confident and clear. But take care not to swing into acting too directive or making all your comments strong. If you come across as arrogant, rude, dismissive or authoritarian, your credibility with the team will also suffer. The skill set shift of going from an employee to a manager, is moving from “being the authority” to “building capacity”. As you seek out and thoughtfully consider the experience of others rather than assuming you need to have all the answers, your team members know/like/trust meter for you will increase. Team members don’t want to be wowed by your intelligent answers, they want to be validated and heard by you.
Consider these examples:
| Rude, dismissive or authoritarian | Collaborative, validating and interested |
| “That sounds like something you would say.” | “Help me understand. I’d like to hear more about what motivated that comment. ” |
| “If I need your opinion I’ll ask.” | “This topic is on the agenda for our weekly meeting. That would be a great time to bring your suggestion to the group.” |
| “Yes. What do you want?” | “Good to see you. What’s on your mind?” |
From your one-on-one research with team members, you will identify one quick win problem the team could solve. This is an excellent opportunity to get a credibility boost. It works like this. You suggest team members seemed most frequently frustrated by a particular issue. Ask if they agree that this is a key frustration, then have them to come up with some potential solutions. Using a follow-up tool like R.A.C.I. to ensure there is proper workflow and follow up will strengthen your authority to lead . Team willingness to engage with this process increases when you first acknowledge and build on any known strengths/actions you learned about from the previous manager. Then identify the gap and have the team propose a solution.
The following example shows how to get the team to address a problem of rework between shifts.
Example: Rework between shifts issue
Manager: “It seems to me there is a lot of tension around rework between shifts. If shift change-over could happen without frustration over rework, what would you say is the #1 problem that needs to be solved?”
Team member: “We just keep blaming and accusing the other shift, but we haven’t tested the possible reasons why there is so much rework. Each shift could brainstorm together and come up with three possibilities to test.”
Manager: “That’s a great idea. How would you go about getting those three possibilities from the other team members?”
Team member: “I’ll just ask them. We can come up with a way to test each idea, then let you know what we discovered in the process.”
Manager: “Perfect. As you go through this process, I would like you to use the questions in the R.A.C.I. model workflow. We can go over them during our weekly meeting, but here is the overview:”
- Responsible – who will be responsible for what?
- Accountable – who is accountable for the result and how will that be communicated?
- Consulted – who needs to be consulted to get the rework issues defined and to generate possible solutions?
- Informed – who needs to be informed and when?
Recap:
Your first order of business as a new manager is to build confidence in your new managerial role by communicating with respect and authority. Look to the team to understand what worked and what didn’t with the past manager and for a quick win, identify a common frustration you could help them solve.
Use language that is neither too weak nor too directive, so your team members sense your authority while feeling free to speak and be validated.
Follow up with a tool that can help the team move to a new level of communication or productivity, such as the R.A.C.I. chart. Your use of a tool that you carefully walk through in several conversations and meetings demonstrates authority, builds the capacity of the team, and helps track decisions and progress.
The next article will focus on developing your capacity to lead your team towards unity of thought, using what if questions to imagine a desired outcome!
FAQs (frequently asked questions) about communicating with respect and authority
How can I be authoritative without coming across as controlling?
Authority doesn’t require you to have all the answers or control every decision. Effective leaders communicate clear expectations while remaining open to the knowledge and experience of their team. Listen first, explain the desired outcome, and give people appropriate ownership of how the work gets done. The goal is to move from being the authority to building the team’s capacity.
For more on this transition, see Building Team Capacity Through S.E.R.V.I.C.E.
What should I say when I need to correct an employee without damaging the relationship?
Focus on the behavior or situation rather than attacking the person’s character. Be specific about what you observed, explain why it matters, and give the employee an opportunity to respond. You can be direct while still communicating respect. Correcting a problem early and privately is often much more effective than allowing frustration to build until the conversation becomes emotionally charged.
This connects closely with the principles discussed in Channeling Your Inner “Scary Leader”, which explores how leaders can address problematic behavior while maintaining a healthy team environment.
How can I communicate confidently when I'm naturally a people-pleaser?
Start by removing language that unnecessarily weakens your message. Words such as “just,” “only,” or overly apologetic phrases can make a reasonable request sound uncertain. Instead, state what you need clearly and respectfully, then allow the other person to respond.
Confidence doesn’t mean becoming louder, harsher, or more demanding. It means being clear about expectations while remaining genuinely interested in the other person’s perspective.
How does respectful communication help create psychological safety at work?
Respectful communication gives employees permission to speak honestly, ask questions, raise concerns, and contribute ideas without automatically fearing embarrassment or retaliation. However, psychological safety doesn’t mean avoiding accountability or difficult conversations. Leaders need to create an environment where people feel safe and understand what behaviors and standards are expected.
For a deeper look at this connection, see Inspiring a Culture of Workplace Emotional Safety: The S.W.E.L. Approach.
Why is listening so important when establishing authority as a new manager?
Listening demonstrates that you respect the knowledge and experience already present on your team. When you take time to understand what worked, what didn’t, and what challenges employees are facing, you gain information that can make your leadership decisions more credible. It also helps employees feel heard rather than feeling that a new manager has arrived simply to impose their own way of doing things.
How can a leader get a team to work toward the same goal?
Start by creating a shared understanding of the desired outcome. Instead of simply telling people what to do, invite them to consider what success should look like, what obstacles could get in the way, and what each person can contribute. When people understand the purpose behind the work and see how their contributions connect to the larger goal, it becomes easier to develop unity.
You can continue this topic with Building Unity of Thought.
Does communicating with authority mean I should always be the one making the decisions?
No. One of the biggest shifts when moving into leadership is recognizing that your role isn’t to make every decision yourself. Your responsibility is to create the conditions, provide the resources, and establish enough clarity for your team to make appropriate decisions and solve problems.
Giving people opportunities to contribute and take ownership can actually strengthen your authority, because the team sees that your leadership makes them more capable rather than more dependent on you.
This idea is explored further in Building Team Capacity Through S.E.R.V.I.C.E..
What should I do if my team doesn't respond well to my leadership communication?
Don’t immediately assume that resistance means your team doesn’t respect you. Ask questions and find out what they are experiencing. A new manager is often stepping into a team with history, established relationships, and previous experiences with management. Understanding that context can reveal why certain messages or changes are being received negatively.
One-on-one conversations can be particularly valuable because they allow employees to share concerns that they may not feel comfortable raising in front of the entire group.
How can I communicate firmly while still making employees feel heard?
Use a both/and approach: you can acknowledge someone’s perspective while still maintaining your decision or expectation. For example, you might say, “I understand why you see it that way, and here’s what we need to accomplish.” Listening doesn’t mean agreeing with everything someone says. It demonstrates that their perspective has been considered before you move forward.
This balance between respect, authority, and emotional safety is also central to Inspiring a Culture of Workplace Emotional Safety: The S.W.E.L. Approach.
What is the next step after learning to communicate with respect and authority?
Once a leader can communicate clearly and establish appropriate authority, the next challenge is using that foundation to build a stronger, more capable team. That means moving beyond giving instructions and creating opportunities for employees to solve problems, develop skills, take ownership, and contribute to a shared purpose.
The four-part leadership series continues with Building Unity of Thought, Inspiring a Culture of Workplace Emotional Safety, and Building Team Capacity Through S.E.R.V.I.C.E..
If this sounds like something you would like to learn more about, consider registering for our Effective Managerial Leadership Program, check out the webpage to get more details.
About the Author
Marie Gervais, PhD, CEO, Shift Management Inc. specializes in helping employers train their middle and senior managers to lead, get their workplace learning online and interactive, and coach for emotionally regulated performance. She has a background in integrating and managing the diverse workforce and in creating culturally responsive curriculum courses and programs for industry. Marie’s book, “The Spirit of Work: Timeless Wisdom, Current Realities” to understand the deeper processes behind workplace issues and find inroads into creating healthy and vibrant organizations is available on Amazon and other online book stores. Her podcast, “Culture and Leadership Connections” features interview and leadership tips through an intercultural lens, that help employers and employees alike be better people at work.